Thoughts...

I was driving to work the other morning rushed and late but thinking.  I was thinking of the saying, "What would you do if you weren't afraid of failing."  And the answer came to me instantly.  I knew exactly what I would want to do.  It scared me how clear it was, and yet what a big jump and change it would mean for my family.

Now that said, though I apologize in its ambiguity (not all things can be shared in the world of cyberspace), I have pondered this saying a lot more over the last week.  Because yes, I know what I would do if I wouldn't fail but does that really mean you should do it?  Fear does keep us alive, and failure though not life threatening can have different endings.

For example, I also made the statement this week, "If I was younger and had normal pregnancies, I would have more children."  Yes, I said this (even though I am totally sleep deprived, my house is a mess and I honestly feel that I can't handle my two children).  But lets look at this, I fear that I would fail as a mother but more so I would fail to and have another horrible complicated pregnancy that our family can not afford at all. So in this case, taking the jump, forgetting fear much like I did with the last pregnancy well, I would end up in the same boat (or in my case sitting on the same couch or bed for four months).

I know I am rambling, and since you only know about half of what I am talking about these are confusing ramblings at best.  All the same, "What would you do if you weren't afraid to fail?"  and then, "Would you actually do it?".