Running.

 I have been a runner forever.  As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I started to slow down.  Once I had the confirmation appointment with my doctor, we talked and decided I should stop.  I eventually stopped even going for walks.  This last year was the longest I have ever (I repeat EVER) went without exercising.

I was so excited to get back at it.  I thought and dreamed about it for months while I sat on my couch during bedrest.  I just couldn't wait to get back out on the trails and back into my normal body and self.  In my defense, I only took about four weeks off with the first pregnancy and was running the whole time she was in the NICU.

I am now 11 weeks post partum.  I know, I've heard from everyone.  BE PATIENT.  Let me just tell you my 'be patient' is broken, and then I ran it over with my car.  Tell me to be patient one more time, and I might run you over with my car too.

I am no longer patient.  I am trying to be realistic. The reality is very bitter sweet.   I am thrilled that I am back out there, and actually healthy enough to start trying again.  Just being able to try is a victory and I am happy every-time I do try to run.

The other side of the coin:  this past year has really, really, really sucked to my body.  Bed rest turned me into a pile of goo.  I have no muscle tone, and lots of extra skin.  Every damn joint hurts now as I try to run, and the extra 15 lbs is not helping in the process.  I can't believe how much it hurts to do what I once considered easy.  I don't even really enjoy it while I am out there because it is so hard and painful.  I now understand why people don't like to work out.  I also now know why people just give up and never do it.

Trying to fit in a run with two kids, one who is nursing also seems close to an impossible mission as well.  Though I hope, pray and plead that this too will eventually get easier.  I also remember that even though I was running after the last pregnancy, it was hard to run well without solid sleep.  And my work schedule then allowed me more time to run.  I traded that schedule for more time at home with the girls.

I really hope it gets easier sometime. I know, I know, be patient.