3 months and the Spirited Child.

 We turned 3 months over the weekend so our monthly photo shoot had to occur, and luckily there were smiles all around.  I also was able to keep her hands out of her mouth for a few minutes as she has discovered them this month and just adores sucking and slobbering all over them.

 I couldn't help but sneak a shot of these chubby little legs and cute little toes.  I actually thought that she was a little thin lately, and then I looked at these pictures and realized I was having a bit of preemie mom 'off' thinking.  I still sometimes want to adjust her age, and get a bit anxious if its been more than 3 hours between feedings.  I have a hard time not having everything measure constantly, and it is strange how little we've gone to doctors or evaluations.  I find myself worrying that she is behind or small, but I know this is out of habit more than reality.  Its a nice little reminder that I don't need to worry so much about my preemie either, that some of that is more of habit than actual reality as well.

If you ever read the book, "Baby Whisper" there is a quiz in it to find out what type of infant you have.  This quiz is to help you understand your baby better so that you can then transition them better based off their budding personality.  Kate was a 'textbook' baby, one that followed perfect cues and was easy for transitions.  Taylor is a 'Spirited' baby, one that is very vocal (BEYOND BELIEF), can be extremely happy or extremely unhappy and likes aggressive stimulus and play (I don't know if she has a choice with big sis around).  I couldn't agree more with the results.  Now if I could just figure out how to work with my textbook and spirit child so we could all get a little more sleep during the day and night.  I am enjoying them both all the same.

Keeping it Simple

I had a rough week, with an absolutely horrible friday.  One of those weeks, that I feel I had a kick me sign on my back at work and by the end of the week just felt like a pretty big failure at all that I am trying to do.  So I had to look at my picture of the week and realized that one of best times this week and lately is when we keep it simple and easy.

 Even with breast feeding, we have a lot of bottles around here from pumping and the bottles that she does take.  Every day these have to be washed and dried as we don't have an endless supply.  I get tired of doing it to be honest.  Enter... SUPER TODDLER KATE!  She thinks me filling the sink with bubbles and letting her play with them and the bottle brush is the best thing ever.

 She pretends and splashes.  So I leave her in her pj's if I think we'll do this, and just change her afterwards. I also put a towel down on the chair to make it a bit safer and easier to clean.  The bottles do actually get clean, though I do have to help a little bit.

 Please ignore the mess on the counters, thats part of my failures this week.  Do notice the fun smile on her face.  As well, look at those lovely curls that are just getting prettier each day.

As for baby sister, she was laying on a rug in the kitchen, probably thinking we were crazy!  I think she enjoyed all the laughing too.

Running.

 I have been a runner forever.  As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I started to slow down.  Once I had the confirmation appointment with my doctor, we talked and decided I should stop.  I eventually stopped even going for walks.  This last year was the longest I have ever (I repeat EVER) went without exercising.

I was so excited to get back at it.  I thought and dreamed about it for months while I sat on my couch during bedrest.  I just couldn't wait to get back out on the trails and back into my normal body and self.  In my defense, I only took about four weeks off with the first pregnancy and was running the whole time she was in the NICU.

I am now 11 weeks post partum.  I know, I've heard from everyone.  BE PATIENT.  Let me just tell you my 'be patient' is broken, and then I ran it over with my car.  Tell me to be patient one more time, and I might run you over with my car too.

I am no longer patient.  I am trying to be realistic. The reality is very bitter sweet.   I am thrilled that I am back out there, and actually healthy enough to start trying again.  Just being able to try is a victory and I am happy every-time I do try to run.

The other side of the coin:  this past year has really, really, really sucked to my body.  Bed rest turned me into a pile of goo.  I have no muscle tone, and lots of extra skin.  Every damn joint hurts now as I try to run, and the extra 15 lbs is not helping in the process.  I can't believe how much it hurts to do what I once considered easy.  I don't even really enjoy it while I am out there because it is so hard and painful.  I now understand why people don't like to work out.  I also now know why people just give up and never do it.

Trying to fit in a run with two kids, one who is nursing also seems close to an impossible mission as well.  Though I hope, pray and plead that this too will eventually get easier.  I also remember that even though I was running after the last pregnancy, it was hard to run well without solid sleep.  And my work schedule then allowed me more time to run.  I traded that schedule for more time at home with the girls.

I really hope it gets easier sometime. I know, I know, be patient.

Where you might find the newest member of our family.

 You might call this baby, velcro or my shadow.  Either I don't remember Kate being this attached to me, or she simply wasn't.  Taylor on the other hand is typically attached to me in some way about 80% of my waking hours when I am home. And I am only somewhat complaining.

Above you will see how I have eaten the majority of my meals and how I handle taking care of a toddler and an infant with no other help, the ergo.  I actually have to wash it about once a week because I use the 'sun' shield to protect her head from my food falling on her.  This baby carrier is not just for going for walks, oh no this is how we have been surviving.  Anyone that hasn't used an ergo should try one, they are great for all ages and much more comfortable than some other carriers.

Now, if she isn't in the ergo then she is probably either on my 'breastfriend pillow' or actually breast feeding. The pillow is amazing, as suggested by another blogging preemie momma, and is worth its weight in gold.  It is more firm than other pillows and you actually attach yourself into it.  The baby is then supported completely by the pillow and not by your back, shoulder or arms.  Also rowdy toddlers can climb up and bother you and baby without any problems.  Also in emergency situations you can hop up with baby on pillow and do something for the rowdy toddler without really stopping the baby from eating either.

Of course I am missing a bit of my personal time with my little shadow attached to me.  I just keep reminding myself that it is a short period of time and before you know it you are begging for cuddles because they are too busy running around the house.  Also I know that this is my last baby so of course, I have to keep her close and enjoy every moment of her baby time.

Don't you just want to eat those cheeks? I do over and over and over again!

Lessons from the NICU

My mom sent me this link today, and it was so well written I had to share.  We are coming close to the 3 year mark for when I was hospitalized with our little miracle.  The wounds have faded a bit, but an article like this can still bring me to tears.  Amazing how one experience really can shape your beliefs and thoughts so much.

I do feel so blessed still for the lessons I learned and continue to learn from our NICU experience.
http://neonataltherapists.com/10-life-lessons-from-the-nicu.php