Sunday, June 9, 2013

A Dark Period...

In full disclosure, life is pretty good.  We are all healthy, friends and family are healthy.  We have jobs, we can pay our bills, we have food on our shelves.  It is summer.  That said, it been a long bleak period here.  I have written about it before and the mystery still continues.  Everybody is crabby and not doing all that stellar.

First of all we are in the worst case of sleep issues ever.  Solution to these problems seem impossible.  When our youngest wakes up and cries, the older daughter starts screaming at a very high volume, this wakes the youngest up further and round and round we go.  This happens for naps, and night time.  But, only when parents are home not when watched by somebody else.  Solution:  parents leave and never return home.

I thought that I would just let them cry it out last week, not that I like to do this but...  I felt this was an attention seeking behavior by the oldest and if we stopped giving her attention then we could move on.  Unfortunately I had no idea what was in store for me.  She decided to walk into her sisters room at 2 in the morning, turn on the light and start yelling.  At that point, her sister was hysterical and startled and she was howling at a horrible, horrible level.  I stopped the crying out solution.

We moved the oldest into our closet in a pack-n-play.  She slept great with the occasional wake up, but never got out of the pack-n-play.  We were able to sleep for five days, which was really needed as this has gone on for a better part of a month.  Problem is that we don't want to share a bedroom with a four year old in the closet in a pack-n-play.  Solution:  parents leave and never return home.

I should mention that I have tried all types of other things as well.  Positive attention, reward charts, taking away things when it happens.  Increased one on one attention, dream lights, music.  We will have what I think are great conversations about it, and then that night or that nap all hell breaks loss and screaming occurs.  At this point, we have decided to leave the four year old in our room and we have moved into her room.  We will see how this goes.  To be honest, I have really lost all hope and I am slightly pissed that I might have to switch all the bedrooms around if it works.

On top of that Taylor is still the most unpleasant toddler around.  She refuses to walk as you can see in the picture, she walks on her knees.  It is as if she is stuck in a developmental tar pit.  I don't know if she is frustrated, but I am.  I am tired of carrying her, which only occurs after several minutes of her clawing my legs and screaming.  I try to have her finger walk or be independent as possible, she really can throw a big fit when pushed.  She is so fast and capable on her knees there is not much of a need to get up on her feet.  Like her sister, she is a late talker as well so she is also frustrated because her communication is somewhat limited.  She understands a lot, has started to love books being read to her but still no major progress in the words department.

So despite as I stated above, I know that in the big picture I have more and everything that I need.  All the same, I don't think that I have been this depressed since maybe the just post postpartum phase when I thought that Kate was going to stab me in the night because I had another child, and my hormones had bottomed out.  It probably is just months and months of exhaustion.  Unfortunately, as what happens when you are depressed I really can't see a solution or positive coming.  We will keep at it and I still have some hope.

1 comment:

  1. I couldn't help but laugh. I know that it's not funny to you right now. Someday you will reread this & laugh, so incredibly thankful that you are not still dealing with Kate sleeping in your closet.

    I am currently not taking showers in the morning as I just can't deal with the inevitable sobbing that comes (usually just after i start waking up/ relaxing) from the tiny dictator.