Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Sibling Rivilary Continues...

I have this weird belief that if you go through a hard time, that then there is universal karma that will make sure that then you will have an easier time the next time. My husband who is a hundred (or maybe a million) times more optimistic than me, feels that even in the worst situation you actually are lucky if you look at it the right way. I instead hold out that if I go through a rough time, then the next big thing will be easier.

I can't say that this theory has worked out for me. I figured, one nightmare of a pregnancy and the next one would be a breeze. Hmm... not so much (though with my husbands rose colored glasses it did have a great ending). Okay, a long drawn out pregnancy with lots of restrictions then I will have a easy wonderful labor. Hmm... not so much again (though still per Mr. Optimistic at least we are healthy and home). Okay, well after all that has happened then the transition to 'normal' life now that is going to be great.

Holy Hell, I was wrong on that one! We are one month in (almost), and I am honestly thinking that we are taking a one way trip to insanity. We are in a big craptastic spiral of yuck! I don't know what part of it is the worst but, I just have to say this is not what I signed up for. First off, the sibiling rivalry which I thought would be minor and last a week or so just keeps going and going and going.

We now scream in the night and I am talking about the toddler. Nearly every night, at some point between midnight and 6 am there is a some drama. "NEED MY SOCK OFF!!!!", we now put her to bed without any socks. "NEED TO GO POTTY!!!", regardless of how many times we go prior to bed. We've tried ignoring her, but no she just keeps screaming. I am typically nursing (because that is all I do), so I have to yell for my husband to go take care of her and on we go. And this fun is only after an unbearable long amount of time it actually takes to get her to go to sleep each night. She also learned to get out of her bed and open the door.

Did I mention that we have had 2 3/4 years of sleeping bliss with her. No problems since about 6 months of age. She would sleep 12 hours a night in her bed with no problems and also a 2 to 3 hour nap everyday. All to come to a screeching halt with the arrival of little sister. Compounded by the fact that of course little sister doesn't sleep normal, she is a newborn. All of this combines to the point that nobody is sleeping!!!! Night after night after night. No matter what we say or do it doesn't seem to matter to the toddler, it just keeps going.

And I wish that was it. I might be able to live with simple sleep deprivation. No its the constant demands when I am nursing (which I know is a lot of the time, but that is out of my hands). "NEED TO GO BATHROOM!!!", "NEED HELP" "NEED HELP" "NEEEEEED HELLLLP!!!", "NEED SNACK!" or just simple screeching. And these are all at the volume and urgency that somebody would typically reserve for when they are burning from a house fire. Typically when I have just sat down to eat, nurse, go the bathroom or make a personal call.

She also has straight out jealousy acts too. Yesterday for example, she climbed up to the dining room table took the birth announcements (pictures of her baby sister), started screaming and threw them all over the table which then knocked over my tea and ruined finished pile.

Don't get me wrong, we do talk, punish, and have the sticker reward charts. She gets one on one time with each parent. We have a routine. We use plenty of positive reinforcement. I have special things for when I am nursing to entertain her with. I have watched 'Super Nanny'. This is still getting to be unbearable, and I don't know what its going to take to get her to return to normal.

Unfortunately I have a feeling it will just be time and consistency. I also think that I need to get a bit of perspective and escape from the situation. Have I mentioned that I haven't exercised in 10 months. Almost a whole year of doing nothing. For a person that used to run 25 plus miles a week and go to the gym 2-3 times a week. Now I do nothing, week after week after week.

I actually haven't left the house alone or even been by myself since our baby was born. A month of no personal time, no sleep and a lot of stress is not exactly a recipe for well care. For me it hard to know where and what to do, as well as it is hard to just walk away. The house is a mess, kids are crying, my husband equally exhausted just walked in the door and I am walking out?! That just seems so wrong. Plus I am tired still can't do much, don't have any money and look like hell. Where am I supposed to go? I guess I could just sleep in my car, that might be enough to help out. I don't exactly feel social right now, I can't even really carry on a conversation.

Okay enough with the rant. I will pull it together here, I've done the newborn thing before. I know it gets a bit easier. Our daughter is growing up and that is painful, all I can do is pray for both of us. I will leave the house in the next week alone, I promise.


  1. I seem to remember the first 6 weeks with E were almost impossible to survive. After that, things seem to settle down a little as we found a routine. Try to keep plugging along for another couple of weeks.
    If I wasn't stuck at home myself, I'd be over there in a heartbeat.
    You can do it Mommy Twin!

  2. ((((hugs)))) you are doing great and she will get over it. It was hell with Elisa the first few weeks and even almost 4 months later she has her moments.