Saturday, February 26, 2011

Birthday wishes.

That candle wish, the one little thing or several things that you wish for when you blow those ever growing candles on your cake. Maybe it was for a special present, that special toy that was going to make your world so fun. Later it may have involved a boy, a secret or not so secret crush that you've been thinking about forever (or a week). As I've gotten older, I still have birthday wishes though I've have gotten to the age where I won't allow all the candles to be on top (we've moved to those pre-made numbers).

I know that I am not supposed to tell others what my wishes are, they might not come true then. That is the rumor told to me at my skate party in fourth grade. Still feeling somewhat blue instead of blissful with the coming birthday I am going to have different approach, I am going to send out my wishes to the cyber world. And maybe that will make them come true because keeping them to myself hasn't exactly insured success either.

Here we go then:

Birthday Wish #1: I want my daughter to talk. I know that I will regret this wish later, and I will wonder if she will ever be quiet. But, her speech or lack of has been a worry that I feel that I solely carry around for months and months.

I feel like I do everything to help her out. I read 16 to 20 books a day, at her request of course. I have flashcards and labels on everything. We've done sign language. We dialogue, converse and encourage. Praise when we hear new sounds, or she signs or tries to communicate. Get down to her level, smile when she babbles.

I just want to hear momma, mum, ma or some type of name for me. Its selfish, and silly but I want to hear her call for me and be excited to see me. She'll point to me if asked where mom is, but never do I get to hear those words.

I know all the stories or later speakers (about as good as I know all the preemies that are now the smartest in their class). I know that as with everything, she will when she wants too. But its a birthday wish and that is all that matters.

Birthday Wish #2: I want my life to reflect what I value, and the courage and skill to make that happen. This one is even wackier than that first. This is based on the question if you look at how you spend your time, and asked if this reflects who you are and what you value. Do you spend your time feeling passionate about your life or does the schedule and events of each day just seem to have a life of its own?

This is ridiculous for a birthday wish. A complicated, difficult, closet of my life clean out that seems close to impossible kind of wish. Again its a birthday wish and if it comes true then great, but again there are a few crushes and toys I never got and I am still wishing every year.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for always sharing your honest thoughts with the cyberworld :) The pic of your daughter in the tub is so cute! The speech delays are difficult, esp. because it's so hard for others to understand the worry that comes with preemies. I think it's a burden we carry. I know it was/is so linked to residual guilt from the NICU for me. Just wanted to stop by and give you our support.