Sunday, October 20, 2013

What I didn't know before I was a Mom.

This is a list that has been rolling around in my head for awhile and by no means a complete list. They come in and out of my head on a daily (sometimes moment by moment basis), like waves crashing on the beach. I think, boy I wish I had known that. Over all though, I know it wouldn't have changed anything and is now just part of my reality. Still all the same I think of them.

 1. How loud children are. All the time.

 I mean really really loud. Sure, infant days they are crying and screaming, and heaven forbid you have a colicky baby but after that time ends, the real noise begins. My girls are a loud happy, loud sad and loud all times in between. If you are trying to talk on the phone, and say they are reading a book well even that is a bit loud. They listen to us, and can tone it down (most of the time) when asked. Currently K is into singing. I am not sure you could technically call this singing. At times, I have actually thought she was injured in another bedroom. No she is just singing in a high pitched kind of wail. I don't say anything, how can I? She is happy and singing. All the same, by the end of the day I crave a little quiet. Just a little peace and quiet.

 2. How much work is involved.

 I don't live on a farm. I live a pretty nice middle class, working mom life-style. It is still an unrelenting amount of work. Day-in-Day-out. Laundry, diapers, dishes, pick up toys, drop off kids, pick up kids, dinners and on and on. I wish you could say that you just think, its all worth it and every action is one filled with love. The unicorns, rainbows and sprinkles and sunshine fill your heart as you wipe your fifth bum for the day. No, not really it is hard and long days of tedious work. I did have the revelation the other day though, that this is also exactly what your children need. They need that stability. They need to know that parents are there for them, that is what instills you with a sense of safety in this world. Food in the kitchen, a clean home and bed to sleep in, and parent that clean, wipe and love you all the while. Growing little people isn't easy, and it isn't for the weak of heart but somebody has to be there so the children can chase rainbows, play with sprinkles and dream of unicorns.

 3. How often they are sick. And thus how often you are sick.

 Germ bugs, that is my pet name for my children. Not the very motherly really. Honest all the same. They are filthy little germ balls. I do my best with hand washing. Good sleep and nutrition, and of course vaccinations and modern medicine. I have the guilt that they go to childcare, where they play with other germ balls. A good week is when the whole family is healthy. Those are pretty rare, so I actually would say a good week is when one of the girls only has minor amount of snot dripping from their noses. In the last three years, I was pretty sure I needed to be admitted to the hospital for the amount of vomiting that had occurred (more than once) and I have also felt delirious with fever (several times).

 4. How proud you can feel when something goes well.

 We went to the dentist the other day. My little K, who has sensory issue always. Who used to scream and shake when I tried to put spoons in her mouth, and always dry heaves if something got to far in her mouth. She has been known to rock almost like a mental health patient when a situation gets to out of control and people are coming at her head. She sat in that dentist chair, and had a full exam with cleaning with a smile on her face. She was polite, nice and enjoyed it. I thought it was going to be dreadful, like it had been previously. But, it wasn't it was one of those blissful parenting moments of pride and pure satisfaction. I never knew that it would feel so much better to watch my daughter accomplishments than my own.

 5. It is still impossible for me to have the outside of my home and the inside of my house organized and cleaned up at the same time. Similar things then are that it seems impossible for me to have two children happy and healthy at the same time. Or I can be doing well at work, or at home but typically not at the same time.

 Nothing more to add to that one. It is life, a continual game of doing the best you can do. A game I will gladly keep playing.

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