Sunday, April 1, 2012

HOPE

I am a bit concerned. Trying to stay positive and think that every day will bring about something good. I feel like I have worked the stars to make a cosmic headache of a week. It is my last week of maternity leave. Emotions are running high. I forgot that it was spring break so there is no toddler school this week, that means no activity time for Kate. This means everyday is with me and the baby. Did I mention, Kate's favorite words right now are "CAN'T", "WON'T" , "DON'T" and "NO", and those are all exclamations. The forecast is for rain every day of the week, and possible snow showers on Thursday. Because I forgot that Kate wouldn't be at school, I mistakenly made doctors appointments for myself during the times I thought she'd be gone. Now, I will be going to the doctors with a toddler and newborn (hmm... will we be able to hear anything?!?). Then per the books newborn fussiness reaches its peak at 6 weeks, this week. I don't know how we could get more fussy lately. Last night, she was up at 2 am so I nursed her, rocked her and got her to sleep, then I pumped. Now it was 3 am, I went to bed, but at 3:30 am she is up crying. I get my husband to help take care of her, he rocks her, later gives her a bottle. I take over at 5 am to hold her while she sleeps, and I sleep in the upright position (the same position I slept in from 11 until 2 am). She wakes up to start the day at 6:30 am. Taylor prefers to be attached to me like a piece of velcro. I actually eat every meal with her either in the sling or on me with a blanket. I usually get a few hours in a 24 hour period that I actually don't have her attached, and during that time she is usually screaming.

What can you do though? I am choosing to look forward and think that everyday will get a bit better. I know no matter what the week will go on. I will have to start work the following week. I am just going to have to look a bit harder for those good times maybe this week. Oh yeah, and maybe pray a bit more.

2 comments:

  1. It's interesting. This sounds exactly like me at 6 weeeks into it. Everyone told me it would get better. I tried to believe them. I can say now they were right, but I don't expect you to believe me right now. Hugs. Boy this sure does sound like something I would have written not that long ago at all!

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  2. Beth,

    I was checking out FAMC's Facebook page and stumbled across the photo of your beautiful new daughter. Long story short, I ended up here, at your blog, and I'm so glad I did. Forgive the random posting, as we don't know each other well, but you have helped take great care of our dogs, Casey and Macallan, over the past few years. I thought that during this week as you may be dreading/looking forward to being back at work you might like to hear how much we've appreciated your excellent care and gentle way with our pups.

    As for mommyhood, I can SO empathize. I gave birth to our third baby last summer; my third c-section. Eight months later, I am still trying to figure out how to balance getting everyone the attention they need (and still nursing a baby that doesn't sleep through the night!). Being a mom is hard work! Take heart though, it will get easier and you have already proven what a tough, giving, loving mama you are.

    Sending you my best and lots of encouragement! :) You can do it! Hope your first week back went smoothly.

    Melissa Turnage

    PS: I am running the Whidbey Half Marathon this weekend in an attempt to get my severely derailed running program back on track. With a husband on deployment, three little ones and two dogs to care for, and a full-time BSN program going on, you can imagine that I am not a prepared as I would have liked - I'm pretty sure this is going to hurt. :) Still, I would like to run one of my miles for you this weekend, until you can get out there yourself. I hope knowing that someone out there is rooting for you gives you a smile this weekend. Take care!

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