Life can be really monotonous. I mean lets admit it. There is a lot of repeat. Add motherhood in and it moves up to really monotonous. I love the phrase, "Life is so daily.". And that is exactly the type of weekend I was having. A weekend, of trying to get things done while it seemed that Kate was literally trying to get things undone at the same speed.
Laundry alone now seems like a never ending battle. Do one load, then there is a spill, a messy lunch, a leaky diaper, a long run (that is my own addition) and we've got another load. The kitchen is another hamster wheel activity. Empty the dishwasher, fill the dishwasher, wipe the counter, make a lunch, wipe the counter again. I actually was almost in tears today because I couldn't get everything to go back into the refrigerator.
I was then cleaning Kate's room. Actually trying to wipe down things with a cleaning product, not just move the piles of things. At one point I turned around and she had just emptied the entire dresser drawer I had just put away. I was busy putting the clothes back in the drawer and she was busy emptying a drawer in the closet full of crib sheets. I gave her a book, and picked up the sheets. Then somehow in less than half a minute, while I was turned around to empty the diaper pail, she had somehow got her foot stuck under the dresser. This involved screaming, me frantically spitting on her foot (to loosen it up), and peeling her foot out. It wasn't even 11 am yet.
I don't know if it is because of a lack of sleep, a lack of alone time, or because at this age your child can barely even say thank you (I am still waiting for mom). Whatever the reason, it does really add up on you. I think for both stay at home moms and working moms, there just isn't enough time in the day. I roll my eyes at myself, because I didn't have enough time before I had a child. What was I thinking?
Finally the day is done, for that point the weekend is done. Baby in bed, wine in hand, feet up. And I start reading some of the blogs that I keep up on. And I come across the blog update I linked below:
Here, I read a fellow preemie mom's post on losing her precious baby girl today. A little baby born at 33 weeks (some 2 months later than Kate), but she had a long hard time in the NICU. And then unexpectedly she lost her battle. I just feel beyond shocked. I also feel a bit ashamed.
I know I am only human. But, gosh why do I let the little things drag me down. Why can't I remember everyday, that I am blessed with all that I have even it includes 20 loads of laundry in a week. Why did I let a a crowded refrigerator nearly bring me to tears when there are others that are experience more suffering and pain than I could ever imagine in the same day and maybe even at the same moment?
And this is where I sit thinking tonight. Thinking of a family who lost their little girl today. A family that will never have the same exhausted frustration of picking up after a busy toddler all day. And instead of whining about all that I have to do, and all that I will still have to do next week, I will take a minute and try to remember a beautiful little girl, and a mother whose life will never be the same without her. And how truly blessed I am to have this monotonous life.